Quick Thought

As the days go by, I have one thing on my mind. Well really it's one person. But that leads me to three more people, then one more. By this point it leads to one abstract idea. That one abstract idea is "family."

I refer to family as an abstract idea because in today's modern culture a family isn't the "nuclear family" that it was even one generation ago. It is no longer the mother, father, children and dog. It is now the children with the grandparents or aunts and uncles or two moms or dads or step parents...

All I know is that one abstract idea, that one nugget in my head that makes my head spin and keeps me awake at night, really makes me happy.

It is really just another day in paradise.

Another Day Another.... Day

I would say another day another dollar but the thing is... I ain't getting paid. This is just a random post because someone was asking my if I was keeping up with my blog. Though it seems that I am the only one keeping up with this blog. Right now my life is amazing. I have a great woman, I am in school, and I have my daughter for two weeks. Right now my daughter is down for her nap, not giving me too much trouble (she's sick so she can be a little cranky) and everything is great. I love life right now... :D

You

YOU know who you are...

I can't get YOU out of my head...

When I lay down to sleep at night, it is YOU that keeps me awake...

And when I do sleep, I dream about YOU...

What is the point of life without YOU...

I don't know can YOU tell me...

Stuck

This is kinda a freestyle poem... one of my first attempts... hope you like it.

You ever had that one person that you can't get out of your head

The person who comes to you, just bugs you, and won't let you sleep while you lay in bed

That one person that always haunts your dreams no matter how hard you try

But haunt gives the wrong idea, the wrong meaning you want them there and you don't know why

They make you feel better, about yourself, your life, just because they're there

And even with them on your mind you don't even know how much that you care

Because you are too caught up in your mind trying to figure it out

How did they get there, why are they there, why can't you get them out

That's when you realize everything that your heart knew before your head

It just comes to you, sings to you, one night while you are struggling to sleep in your bed

You need them there, you want them there it all seems to make sense now

You can't think of the why they are there, the when or even the how

All you know is that without them, you would be incomplete

But eventhough you know, you still can't get to sleep.

100

According to my "blogger dashboard" this is going to be my 100th post.... so I might as well make it a good one.

Only a couple people on here know who I really am. Frisco and Alex... plus a couple of our readers, for the rest of you I thought I would give you an insight into who Bildo really is.

01. My real name is William.
02. The nickname Bildo comes from a combination of Bill and Mini Waldo.
03. I have a daughter. She means everything to me
04. I play the tenor sax and bass guitar. I also sing.
05. My favorite way to spend a night out is drinks with a few friends at a karaoke bar.
06. I spent almost two years in the US Air Force. I was a fuel system mechanic. I got a general discharge for "failure to adapt to military standards.
07. I have very few "close" friends... but I would do anything for them. And they know it.
08. I am obsessed with music, music has always been a big part of my life.
09. I am kinda tall... 6'4"
10. I have lived in "bad neighborhoods" almost my entire life.
11. I once won an award in junior high for my creative writing.
12. I don't make lists too often so cherish this XD

Last Kiss

This is one of the saddest songs I have ever heard... it is originally from the 50s or so but has been redone a few times... the one I always listen to is the pearl jam version.

Last Kiss

Oh where oh where can my baby be
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to Heaven so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

We were out on a date in my daddy's car
We hadn't driven very far
There in the road straight ahead
A car was stalled the engine was dead
I couldn't stop so I swirved to the right
I'll never forget the sound that night
The squealin tires the bustin glass
The painful scream that I heard last

Oh where oh where can my baby be
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to Heaven so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

When I woke up the rain was pourin down
There were people standin all around
Something warm runnin through my eyes
But somehow I found my baby that night
She lifted her head she looked at me and said
"Hold me darlin just a little while"
So I held her close I kissed her our last kiss
I'd found the love that I knew I had missed
Now she's gone eventhough I hold her tight
I lost my love my life that night

Oh where oh where can my baby be
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to Heaven so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world

I don't know the reason that this song sticks with me the way it does. It may be because I can get a little sappy when it comes to music. It could be because this song is really sad and I can relate to losing someone you love (though I have never had anyone that I was dating die, let alone die in my arms). But it is one of my favorite songs of all time and if you haven't heard it... you should.

Confessions

I still believe in a fairy tale ending.

Contrary to popular belief I haven’t given up on love.

I absolutely hate this one boy.

This other boy…annoys the shit out of me.

I’m in love.

With a boy.

I have horrible sleeping patterns.

I used to cut.

I don’t believe in marriage.

I’m NOT against marriage or anyone getting married.

I still believe there is some good in the world.

I have a really hard time saying no.

I’m not happy with myself.

I’m new to tumblr. OMG

And on that note.

I’m off…sadly not to bed :/

Crazy Little Thing Called Like

As I grow older I find myself reminicing of and wishing for the days of old. I miss my high school friends, I miss being the smartest kid in class in junior high...

But one thing that I have noticed over the years, relationships were so much easier in elementary school.

Those were the good old days when if you liked a girl in your class, all you had to do was pass her a little note that said "I like you, do you like me?" Then have the little check boxes for yes and no.

It was so easy, there was no maybe. There was no "I like you but..." There was no "I just got out of a long relationship and am just enjoying being single." There was just yes or no.

You never had to wait for an answer either... I knew a guy who was basically strung along for a month before the girl finally said yes.

Another way it was easier, you didn't need to come up with reasons for why you like someone. You didn't have to tell them how you thought they were smart, funny, pretty, etc... you just liked them and they may or may not like you...

So I am saying this now, I want to bring back the yes or no question. Who's with me?

New Year, New You

Hey everyone... I have been thinking a lot lately about the new year. We are already a week or so in and I can tell that this year is going to be different. Better... knock on wood.

Over the last few years, through life experiences and random people watching, I have noticed a decline in what I like to refer to as common decency and humanity. But since the new year has started to change my thoughts.

Last week I was at the Department of Human Assistance to turn in some paperwork (yes I am a poor white boy on food stamps, I am usually a proud person but I know when to ask for help. So please I don't judge you, you have no right to judge me). But as I was standing in line I saw one of the workers come out of the office area with one of those big pink donut boxes. She took it over and just randomly handed it to someone that was waiting to hear their name. He said thank you and she walked away. Once he opened the box he noticed that it was full with about 2 dozen donuts. Then he did something I didn't expect, he got up and yelled "who wants a donut?" Then he walked over to the people that everyone could really tell was homeless and let them get some first. Then he walked around the entire waiting room handing out donuts, until there was only one left. He then threw the box away, sat down, and ate his donut without another word.

This surprised me, and it really made me feel good to see such a random act of kindness. We should all try to do random acts of kindness from time to time, I know I will be doing more.

Another thing I have been thinking... I saw an interview the other day and a celebrity was asked what her resolution was. She replied with "to be more grateful and to appreciate those that I care about more than I have." This got me thinking, I haven't truly expressed my feelings in a while... so here it goes.

To all of my friends, I really appreciate how all of you are there for me when needed. Especially as of late, Frisco and Alex. Whether it be a night out of debautchery and drinking, or just a chill afternoon with a pizza, you two have really helped me deal with a lot of shit lately. To all of my readers, I would like to thank you. You are one of the major reasons that I write. Of course I do it for me, to get out my frustration, my anger, my stress, my feelings... but I also know how it feels to have a certain piece of work click with me. I write so that I can have people read it and know, "thank god someone else has felt this way." And there is one more person I would like to thank. You are very special to me. I hope you know who you are... thanks for making me write... :)...

Now that I have that out, I hope you all will take what I said to heart. Love your fellow man, and let those you really care about know how you feel. Thank you all.

Don't just see, REALLY look!

Hey yall-Thanks for giving me a little room to share food for thought. Heres piece of mano libre writting- FrEe HaNd writting-no real direction just let that hand flow-if you follow comment and if you dont comment anyway. Gracias.




As I studied the way images have impacted minority communities throughout history it is very clear that it’s not a thing of the past. The way images are delivered is one of the only things that has changed. The change is highly influence by the shift into the digital age and the speed and channels that information delivered. The thousands of images that are bombarded at people though there televisions, cell phones, and computers impact the way they perceive and live through the world.

Gate keepers in large corporations decide what news is worthy and how it should be presented.

When a group of elites decide to frame an issue as it best benefits them, considering they have the resources available to voice their opinion and persuade the general public, their thoughts and initiatives are institutionalize. But if an issue is not defined as problem by those in power in the first place, than there is no need to address it. Native American tribes were displaced and killed as a result of policy passed by those who felt there was an "Indian Problem". Images and news traveled at a slower pase but still reached thousands of people. Westerns portrayed Indians as savage and with the need to be civilized because that what they said was best for everyone but Native Americans had very little input in the decisions made.

In a time of economic crisis and quick change Big Brother takes su prima la Media to dehumanize a group of people as it is easiest to pursue the general public to feel hostile and fear other when their seen as something foreign- when they are not seen as what they are- breathing living people.



What image/s comes to mind when you hear “Illegal Aliens”? People of brown faces, people who take jobs, people who are criminals. These messages have been transmitted through different channels of mass media-but do not reflect reality. I know the undocumented community-and we are far from aliens.

Corporations are using podcast as an additional way to get their message out and other companies have taken up blogging.
The increase of user generated content and the interactive feature of the web is completely changing the way images impact the public for better or for worst. Try to really look when you see.

Red

I can only put so much of my heart into this page before it runs over crimson

But anything less than wholehearted is not in my nature

Give me your all, and in return I will give you all the more for it

For your kindness I will repay you with line after line ruby red on this my songbook

Love And Marriage

Its amazing what conversations will stick with you, even five years after they happen.

In high school I was rather synical towards what love truly was. To the whole concept of marriage and having a "good life."

What is a "good life?" Is it a wife and kids? A white picket fence? What about a good job?

At the time (and part of me still thinks this) I believed that to have a marriage that was going to last, love was not needed.

Think about it. All you really need is the physical attraction and the ability to live with that person. We all have friends that we know we could probably live with. Add in a physical attraction and it could work.

But the less synical side of me now sides with the friend I had this conversation with. Love is what makes a relationship special. Will true love be there right away? Not in all cases, but that's what dating is for.

A marriage without love may last, it may lead to love... but if the love isn't there, then it won't make you happy.

There are many definitions for what a "good life" is. But I believe that a "good life" is a life full of happiness. Whether you own your house, or rent an apartment. Whether you love your wife, or you settled. Whether you make $100,000 a year or $10,000... as long as you are happy, you will have a "good life."

Storm

The storm, it rages on just outside my window

It rattles and shakes violently, as if to say “Let me in,”

The storm she speaks to me but do I answer her call?

Do I let her in? NO. Instead I will call back to her and say “You let me in”

I rush to the door, reaching slowly for the knob unsure of the consequence

And suddenly, violently the storm calls replies “Only if you promise to get lost within”

My world shakes from her fury and with a half smile I reply just underneath my breath “I already have”

Kill

Why must I always entertain these thoughts in my head

Should they not entertain me? Alas they don’t and instead they torture me

They keep me up in the dead of night, I hold my eyes closed but feigning sleep never works

Never letting up, always building up as if to force their way into being

Bursting forth from my head, shattering my skull and not bothering to put the pieces back

Would that I could kill these thoughts but soon they might be the death of me

All in Due Time (Or Not)

I thought I would start the new year off right by throwing out a new poem so here it goes...

Late night early morning

Either could be said

The streets are all empty

Can't be said for my head

Thoughts of me of you of us

So many they block my sight

As the sun starts to rise

On this cold winter night

I have said nothing to you

About what's on my mind

But we all shall find out

But all in due time

I say that now but still

I don't believe it at all

I will do as I always do

Keep my mouth shut til I fall