Make It A Mess

Is it written on my face or is there a neon sign that tells everyone just how much pain I am in?

I feel like you could see right through me and all my thoughts and emotions shown clearly in the light

Try and hide but I know it’s not working the guilt it cuts right through me

The pain it just might be the end of me and there is nothing in my power to stop it

I fight for ever breath that I take, this constant battle it leaves me weak and tired

I may not look it but I am battered and beaten I just hide it from you

I am lost and lonely but more scared than anything

What will you say, what will you do when you see just how broken down I am

Inside I struggle to keep it all in but my heart can take no more of this

The light I once had, the smiles I once put on no longer keep the demons at bay

I am not only a mess I make it a mess I never know what to say

But some how I make it through every day like a soldier marches on

My life is still keeping in step with the deadly cadence

How can I keep up if all I need is rest, a break from the pain

Guarded

Heart that is guarded behind false smiles and false assurances

Walled in by the pain, beaten and broken tears mixed with blood

Tucked away no longer worn on the sleeve of outstretched arms

Remain hidden within this chest but the safest place is still further away

Looking deep inside fear grabs hold and uncertainty digs it’s claws in

Heart so well guarded could never be reached but only set free

Walls break down brick by brick

Heart mended piece by broken and shattered piece

Heart so beautifully disastrous and dangerously fragile with a million cracks on the surface

Telling the tale of love’s catastrophe it could fall apart at any given moment

Standing alone on the pedestal with no end of loneliness in sight

Afraid not only of remaining here guarded but thin lies and fake smiles

But of taking that step off the edge not knowing if there will be a place to land

Or just more pain, more of the same