Last Kiss

This is one of the saddest songs I have ever heard... it is originally from the 50s or so but has been redone a few times... the one I always listen to is the pearl jam version.

Last Kiss

Oh where oh where can my baby be
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to Heaven so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

We were out on a date in my daddy's car
We hadn't driven very far
There in the road straight ahead
A car was stalled the engine was dead
I couldn't stop so I swirved to the right
I'll never forget the sound that night
The squealin tires the bustin glass
The painful scream that I heard last

Oh where oh where can my baby be
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to Heaven so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

When I woke up the rain was pourin down
There were people standin all around
Something warm runnin through my eyes
But somehow I found my baby that night
She lifted her head she looked at me and said
"Hold me darlin just a little while"
So I held her close I kissed her our last kiss
I'd found the love that I knew I had missed
Now she's gone eventhough I hold her tight
I lost my love my life that night

Oh where oh where can my baby be
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to Heaven so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world

I don't know the reason that this song sticks with me the way it does. It may be because I can get a little sappy when it comes to music. It could be because this song is really sad and I can relate to losing someone you love (though I have never had anyone that I was dating die, let alone die in my arms). But it is one of my favorite songs of all time and if you haven't heard it... you should.

Crazy Little Thing Called Like

As I grow older I find myself reminicing of and wishing for the days of old. I miss my high school friends, I miss being the smartest kid in class in junior high...

But one thing that I have noticed over the years, relationships were so much easier in elementary school.

Those were the good old days when if you liked a girl in your class, all you had to do was pass her a little note that said "I like you, do you like me?" Then have the little check boxes for yes and no.

It was so easy, there was no maybe. There was no "I like you but..." There was no "I just got out of a long relationship and am just enjoying being single." There was just yes or no.

You never had to wait for an answer either... I knew a guy who was basically strung along for a month before the girl finally said yes.

Another way it was easier, you didn't need to come up with reasons for why you like someone. You didn't have to tell them how you thought they were smart, funny, pretty, etc... you just liked them and they may or may not like you...

So I am saying this now, I want to bring back the yes or no question. Who's with me?

Give Me

In the Raw (this is new)

Long ago I decided not to let the chains that bind me to the earth win

I won't take no for an answer and and I won't settle for anything less than spectacular

I want to get back the life I used to live, get back to a time when I wasn't blinded by the pain

Break through to the other side of misery, put this world in my rear view mirrors

Bring it all back to me: life, love...happiness give me back my smile, wipe away these tears

Shatter these walls and take back the sky give me back what's mine

I used to want to dream, but now I just want to live

Give me a heart that beats, eyes that see, a voice that speaks, legs that stand and feet that walk

I am coming back to life with each passing moment it comes back to me

I feel it's warmth slowly melt away all the pain of yesterday

I feel it deep inside my bones, and inside my chest it swells as breath suddenly returns

I see the stars, they fade away as I regain my strength

My heart it finally beats, my eyes they finally see, I found my legs to stand on

Picking myself back up again learning how to crawl again, and trying too soon to walk

I might stumble, I might miss a step but I won't give in

I won't give the it a backward glance, the chance that I might lose sight again

Of the truth that I long forgot was true

Being Gay(ish) and all that Jazz

I sort of come and go with my "level of gay" and recently I've just felt like UBER Gay.

It comes and goes I guess hahaha. I guess I'm never NOT gay, but yeah. IDK

Random thoughts.

I mostly just wanted to share this song and to "reply" to Bildo's last post about online dating.

As some of you may know, I JUST recently signed up for a couple of online sites, and so far...things seem to be going in some sort of a right(ish) direction. At least from what I can tell.

Actual results, well I wouldn't be able to say because it's been way too early for that.

In the gay world, (and I'm sure just the world in general) it seems like everyone kindof already fucked everyone else, so It can get weird st points.

Have I been part of the problem? Yes, I'm sure.

But that's besides the point.

To keep on with the gay theme of this post, Oprah says over and over again, it's ok to just love yourself!

Personally I have been single for quite some time now and although I am ready to start dating again, I HAD to be sure I was absolutely comfortable with being "just me"

Anywho, there is the song!!

I'm obsessed with 5AwesomeGays, and TylerOakley, I just LOVE this song though!

The Daily Grind

Today I had this terrible feeling one that I couldn't shake no matter what I was doing
I thought to myself: Why do I do the things that I do?
I then began thinking of all the things that I do
I think about how I wake up every morning and get ready to hit the daily grind
Ride to work, pass the next 4 hours there then ride back home
I am over simplifying but you get the picture, right?
Nothing in between and what for? Is this really what life has is store for me?
I feel like a stranger in my own skin, nothing like the me I like to remember
The younger me, the Alex who had a reason to smile
Back when the days were worth living and love was worth having
Not the hollow empty me who only goes to and fro
Only enough to get through the daily grind
I never thought that I would be able to go to bed with a stranger
But I do it every night when I finally do get to sleep
I would run and hide from this stranger but he's in my skin
I see him in the mirror, his face so familiar but still not me
It goes on and on but the fact of the matter is simple
I am giving everything I can to get through the daily grind
While I lose myself in my self made madness
I can't stand another day of grind, grind, grind
I could grind my teeth to dust and still not be done
But the grind rolls on and on and tomorrow I will be at it again... I hope...