Its amazing what conversations will stick with you, even five years after they happen.
In high school I was rather synical towards what love truly was. To the whole concept of marriage and having a "good life."
What is a "good life?" Is it a wife and kids? A white picket fence? What about a good job?
At the time (and part of me still thinks this) I believed that to have a marriage that was going to last, love was not needed.
Think about it. All you really need is the physical attraction and the ability to live with that person. We all have friends that we know we could probably live with. Add in a physical attraction and it could work.
But the less synical side of me now sides with the friend I had this conversation with. Love is what makes a relationship special. Will true love be there right away? Not in all cases, but that's what dating is for.
A marriage without love may last, it may lead to love... but if the love isn't there, then it won't make you happy.
There are many definitions for what a "good life" is. But I believe that a "good life" is a life full of happiness. Whether you own your house, or rent an apartment. Whether you love your wife, or you settled. Whether you make $100,000 a year or $10,000... as long as you are happy, you will have a "good life."
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
The Worst of Times
Another excerpt from my book. This is from the chapter "The Worst of Times."
As I got closer I got more and more nervous. I had the whole thing planned out in my head, but you know what they say, "if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans."
I pulled up outside and walked my way up to her door. I guess she saw me because she opened the door and invited me in before I even got to the porch. My hand never left its spot on the small blue box in my pocket.
"Hey Tim, I got something I gotta say." She started.
"Let me go first." I blurted out, and she nodded. "Well I know that we have only been dating for about eight months, but" I grabbed her hand. "I love you more than anything in the world. I have never felt this way about anyone before. I would take a bullet for you. Okay, I'm starting to ramble," I gave a small nervous chuckle.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I need you by my side." I got down on one knee and pulled the box out of my pocket. As I opened it I said, "Will you marry me?"
She looked down at me and her eyes started to fill as if she were about to cry. She closed her eyes for a slight second longer than a longer than a standard blink and a tear rolled down the side of her face.
"Oh my God... Tim." She started as another tear formed and dropped, leaving a tiny wet streak as it made its way down her face. "I don't know what to say."
"Just say yes Helen. That's all you need to say." My hands were shaking as my nerves grew from her hesitation.
"Tim... I'm pregnant."
My jaw dropped. "But... But... But we haven't even..." my voice trailed off in disbelief.
"I know, I'm so sorry Tim." She took a few steps back and burst into tears as I fell to my hands and knees. "I'm so sorry," she repeated.
"Just stop Helen," I told her putting the ring back in my pocket. "I love... loved you Helen. I never did anything to you, and you repay me by fucking some other guy?" I was starting to shake again, but not from nerves, from anger.
"I'm so sorry Tim." She said through her sobs.
"STOP SAYING THAT!" I shouted from my knees, I must have startled her because she jumped. "I quit school for you. I gave you my heart, I gave you everything Helen... EVERYTHING!!!" I pounded my fist on the floor. "I gotta get out of here..." I said to myself getting to my feet.
I walked out and slammed the door behind me. I just started walking down the street. I wasn't sure where I was going, I just had to get away from there. My head was swimming, it was flooded with the thoughts of the last eight months.
I soon arrived at a park. I looked around to see where I was, then I sat on one of the benches. I reached into my pockets and pulled out two things, the ring and my phone. I stared at the ring in my left hand as I used my right hand to call the one person that I could talk to at that moment. Charlie.
As I got closer I got more and more nervous. I had the whole thing planned out in my head, but you know what they say, "if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans."
I pulled up outside and walked my way up to her door. I guess she saw me because she opened the door and invited me in before I even got to the porch. My hand never left its spot on the small blue box in my pocket.
"Hey Tim, I got something I gotta say." She started.
"Let me go first." I blurted out, and she nodded. "Well I know that we have only been dating for about eight months, but" I grabbed her hand. "I love you more than anything in the world. I have never felt this way about anyone before. I would take a bullet for you. Okay, I'm starting to ramble," I gave a small nervous chuckle.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I need you by my side." I got down on one knee and pulled the box out of my pocket. As I opened it I said, "Will you marry me?"
She looked down at me and her eyes started to fill as if she were about to cry. She closed her eyes for a slight second longer than a longer than a standard blink and a tear rolled down the side of her face.
"Oh my God... Tim." She started as another tear formed and dropped, leaving a tiny wet streak as it made its way down her face. "I don't know what to say."
"Just say yes Helen. That's all you need to say." My hands were shaking as my nerves grew from her hesitation.
"Tim... I'm pregnant."
My jaw dropped. "But... But... But we haven't even..." my voice trailed off in disbelief.
"I know, I'm so sorry Tim." She took a few steps back and burst into tears as I fell to my hands and knees. "I'm so sorry," she repeated.
"Just stop Helen," I told her putting the ring back in my pocket. "I love... loved you Helen. I never did anything to you, and you repay me by fucking some other guy?" I was starting to shake again, but not from nerves, from anger.
"I'm so sorry Tim." She said through her sobs.
"STOP SAYING THAT!" I shouted from my knees, I must have startled her because she jumped. "I quit school for you. I gave you my heart, I gave you everything Helen... EVERYTHING!!!" I pounded my fist on the floor. "I gotta get out of here..." I said to myself getting to my feet.
I walked out and slammed the door behind me. I just started walking down the street. I wasn't sure where I was going, I just had to get away from there. My head was swimming, it was flooded with the thoughts of the last eight months.
I soon arrived at a park. I looked around to see where I was, then I sat on one of the benches. I reached into my pockets and pulled out two things, the ring and my phone. I stared at the ring in my left hand as I used my right hand to call the one person that I could talk to at that moment. Charlie.
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