Stay With Me

This is a song that I wrote about 4 years ago. I noticed that my posts have been a little dark, so I thought I would brighten the day with a love song.

I can still feel your fingers
As they trace around my hand
I can still taste your lips
They're sweeter that you understand
I love the way you make me feel
Every second I'm with you
When I see you I wonder
If you feel this way too
Days go by
Faster than I can see
Hopin that you will
Be right here with me
Days go by
And we're living free
I'm hoping that you
Will stay with me
Late night conversations
About nothing and everything
Talking, laughing, silence
Saying nothing but everything
Movies, meals, being together
Together for the sake of us
Things seem to be going our way
Things just for us
Days go by
Faster than I can see
Hopin that you will
Be right here with me
Days go by
And we're living free
I'm hoping that you
Will stay with me
Though we aren't together in body
My heart and mind belong to you
I want to see you everyday
All I can think about is you
Time flys by as days turn to night
And I just want to say
I love you

The Tears of a Clown

One of the things that I have faced over the years was being the goofball of the group. And as the goofball, or clown if you will, you are expected to act and be a certain way.

But the question that I raise is what happens when the clown has a bad day? Does he just swollow it down and keep on smiling? Does he take a day to himself and let it out? Or does he *gasp* dare to show his feelings around those who expect different?

The truth is, no one can be happy all of the time. Good times end and shit happens. You can't fight it. But the true test of strength is on whether or not the "clown" can be human enough to actually show their feelings.

But this is not just a test of the "clown's" strength, it is also a test of the strength of the friendships that they have made. Will the others be upset that the "clown" isn't happy? Will they try to help the "clown" get through their problems? Or the biggest of all, will they even notice?

Insomnia

I don't know about you, but there are many nights that I lay awake. My mind racing with thoughts.

I don't know why but I can't get it to stop. And it isn't about anything in particular. Just random thoughts.

Does anyone know why this happens? If so, does anyone know how to stop it? And if you can get it to stop, why can't I?

Night after night it is always the same damn thing. I lay there, waiting for sleep. But it alludes me, and that makes my brain work even harder.

"Why can't I sleep?" I think to myself. "Why won't my brain stop?"

It is at that point that I realize that I have entered a vicious cycle. I am now thinking about why I can't stop thinking...

A useless effort if there ever was one.

But I guess that this will have to continue. I am doomed to the sleepless nights of a creative, over-thinking, realist, hopless romantic...

UN-sym-PATHETIC

On the outside I'm laughing
But inside I'm ecstatic
Watching you fail again
Was fucking FANTASTIC
I don't mean to sound mean
But I just can't help it
Just one more failure
Proves you're fucking pathetic
I only care because
I know you'd laugh too
But this time it seems
That it happened to you
Now watching TV
My life is complete
Because I now know
You'll wallow in defeat

Losing Sleep

All day long I remember to forget
The life that we had
How we would spend all day in bed
Your head on my chest
But when I'm alone
Sitting at home
Your face comes to me
I lay in bed
Alone again
Trying to sleep
Just another night
No one by my side
I'm losing sleep again
When my thoughts of you
Come into clear view
I'm losing sleep again
And always
Am I wrong for thinking this way
Leave me alone
Got myself right out of my head
And feeling at home
Just another night
No one by my side
I'm losing sleep again
When my thoughts of you
Come into clear view
I'm losing sleep again
And always....

The Phone In My Pocket...

If you’ve ever found yourself looking at your phone

Cuz you “thought” it was vibrating, don’t lie

You know you were looking cuz you wished it were ringing

And it felt like the time was just flying away

You reach in your pocket and realize that it’s only been five minutes

You know you’re obsessing and this shit’s got you stressing

But do it anyway just hoping for that familiar buzzing sound

Just a line or two but its’ more than enough to get you through

Like your next fix it never fails it always fades away

Hoping that it’ll get you through the day

But it don’t and you need another right away

I found myself lost in this world

And I saw myself staring at my phone for an hour or two

I asked myself: is this what it’s reduced me to?

Yep! Oh well I can’t stop now cuz I’m really rolling

Buzz buzz: whatcha doing?

Nothing just chilling (with you filling up my brains

I couldn’t ever tell you but it’s driving me insane)

I would be lying if I said I wish that I could stop this

So don’t stop this, baby hit me with a new one. QUICK!

Let me know

When there is a shutoff valve for the feelings

That gush on out when you tear it out

Let me know so that I can

Stop drowning in the pain that I

Let put me down and that I

Like to swallow up in gulps and I...

Let me know when I can

When I can...

When I can...

DIE