Insomnia

I don't know about you, but there are many nights that I lay awake. My mind racing with thoughts.

I don't know why but I can't get it to stop. And it isn't about anything in particular. Just random thoughts.

Does anyone know why this happens? If so, does anyone know how to stop it? And if you can get it to stop, why can't I?

Night after night it is always the same damn thing. I lay there, waiting for sleep. But it alludes me, and that makes my brain work even harder.

"Why can't I sleep?" I think to myself. "Why won't my brain stop?"

It is at that point that I realize that I have entered a vicious cycle. I am now thinking about why I can't stop thinking...

A useless effort if there ever was one.

But I guess that this will have to continue. I am doomed to the sleepless nights of a creative, over-thinking, realist, hopless romantic...

UN-sym-PATHETIC

On the outside I'm laughing
But inside I'm ecstatic
Watching you fail again
Was fucking FANTASTIC
I don't mean to sound mean
But I just can't help it
Just one more failure
Proves you're fucking pathetic
I only care because
I know you'd laugh too
But this time it seems
That it happened to you
Now watching TV
My life is complete
Because I now know
You'll wallow in defeat

Losing Sleep

All day long I remember to forget
The life that we had
How we would spend all day in bed
Your head on my chest
But when I'm alone
Sitting at home
Your face comes to me
I lay in bed
Alone again
Trying to sleep
Just another night
No one by my side
I'm losing sleep again
When my thoughts of you
Come into clear view
I'm losing sleep again
And always
Am I wrong for thinking this way
Leave me alone
Got myself right out of my head
And feeling at home
Just another night
No one by my side
I'm losing sleep again
When my thoughts of you
Come into clear view
I'm losing sleep again
And always....

The Phone In My Pocket...

If you’ve ever found yourself looking at your phone

Cuz you “thought” it was vibrating, don’t lie

You know you were looking cuz you wished it were ringing

And it felt like the time was just flying away

You reach in your pocket and realize that it’s only been five minutes

You know you’re obsessing and this shit’s got you stressing

But do it anyway just hoping for that familiar buzzing sound

Just a line or two but its’ more than enough to get you through

Like your next fix it never fails it always fades away

Hoping that it’ll get you through the day

But it don’t and you need another right away

I found myself lost in this world

And I saw myself staring at my phone for an hour or two

I asked myself: is this what it’s reduced me to?

Yep! Oh well I can’t stop now cuz I’m really rolling

Buzz buzz: whatcha doing?

Nothing just chilling (with you filling up my brains

I couldn’t ever tell you but it’s driving me insane)

I would be lying if I said I wish that I could stop this

So don’t stop this, baby hit me with a new one. QUICK!

Let me know

When there is a shutoff valve for the feelings

That gush on out when you tear it out

Let me know so that I can

Stop drowning in the pain that I

Let put me down and that I

Like to swallow up in gulps and I...

Let me know when I can

When I can...

When I can...

DIE

For the one wo took my half heart...

Never thought this was in me but now its here this is for Mai Cha that lying... well I won't call her that but you know what I mean. LOL

Because I have a good nature and a big heart

Its not because I was evil, or had malicious intentions

So much for karma huh? No place for me in the dark

Just cuz, it seems, no real reason for my destruction

No! The universe is not so cruel

We make of it what we can, not the other way around

If I have to ask for the truth then I’m the fool

But I’m not taking this laying down

Power lies with me to make this right

I have to find a better place for you not me

Closest curb in sight

I’m sure that’ll do, it’s plain enough to see

You used to sing me sweetest songs

But now your mouth only furnishes rancor

When did that change? Did it ever? For how long…

Such half-truths, never! You had me in such a fever

Now no second chance will ever do

And now no cure will fix your disease…

Just not...

This one speaks for itself.

I knew it all along I was flawed

No not broken, like the wings of a grounded bird

Flawed by design and not by choice

Looking into the sky for answers

Expecting one to hit me in the face

Leaning far enough to tilt but not far enough to fall

Strong enough to cry just not strong enough to scream

Slipping from day to night, dark enough to see nightmares

Just not dark enough to sleep

Well enough to breathe just not enough to speak

Overwhelmed to the point of suffocation

Feeling that familiar lump inside my throat

The swelling of the tears and the burning of the pain

Emotions running high but just beneath the surface

Anger, agony, guilt, all pain

I will always be the victim of my thoughts

I will always be accomplice to my death

Can’t escape from myself

That kind of freedom is always just outta reach