#28 LOL

I wrote this one like 5-6 years ago or something like that just know it was a SUPER long time ago. I titled it Poem #28. I never gave it an actual title but I still like it.

I can’t hear you over the music blasting in my ears

I only play it loud enough to drown you out

But don’t take it personally I do it when I need space

I am asking you to please step back a few and let me be

Me and my music; I love to sing out loud when no one is around

I can’t even hear myself over the beats that are play in my ear

I can’t tell if I am any good and I know that I can’t hold a note

I really don’t care as long as I am alone with my thoughts

And it’s just me and my music

King or Fool

In class today, we were talking about some Hebrew words.

The word for King, which starts with an L.
The word for Fool (Clown), which starts with an M.

And we were talking about a dream. Where the person was dreaming they were a King of Clowns.

The word for King, like I said starts with an L and then followed by the M,
The word for Fool, stars with an M then is followed by the L.

It was also discussed how the word for head starts with an L then is proceeded by the M,
and how the word for heart, starts with an M then is proceeded by the M,

so it was agreed upon that to be a King, you have to first follow your head, then your heart,
but to be a fool, you follow your heart, then your head.

I guess It would be safe to say, that if the above is true, than I would be the King Of Fools...

oh Philosophy...you intrigue me.

Random Thoughts = This:

Where do you go when your whole world rips itself apart?

When it’s on the verge of collapse?

Is there a place you can go

That can shelter you from the storm?

Is it safe from the flood waters or do you drown in the torrents?

When your world rocks how do you keep in place

All the things that you built

Do let them fall and try to rebuild? Or do you struggle and fight

Just to keep it all alive? I don’t know but here goes nothing

And there will be nothing standing

This is gonna shake you down to the very core

You won’t even know if you can take it anymore

You will feel like I did and maybe even worse

Neither one of us will walk away from this

I will end it before I let it take everything from me

You will see though that there is no end,

No rest, it just goes on and on until all is dead and gone

GPS

Something I wrote because I felt that I was losing my direction and I began writing and this is what came out, I hope when you read this you can relate to it, but mainly just enjoy it.

Life has no direction until you give it one
We are not always in control of life
But we can change its outcome with every decision
We don't get GPS, preprogrammed and ready to go
But that's only because we choose the routes and destinations
We are the mapmakers, the trailblazers and
Some of our friends would call us backseat drivers
Life is exciting, the twists and the turns, the ups and downs
The pins on the map marking each moment, every memory
But because life won’t wait you might just get left behind
So don’t stand around plotting a course Get in, put it in gear and drive

It Gets Better!

This message goes out to all our LGBTQ Youth out there. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

In fact there are a WHOLE BUNCH OF US out here!

I wanted to take this time to introduce myself for those of you who already don't know me. My Name is Francisco A. Gutierrez, I'm 21 years old and gay. Ever since I can remember I was teased and bullied for being different in school. Now as a child, I wasn't aware of the whole sexuality thing but I had always known I was attracted more to the "boys" in my class. So I always hung out with the girls, and for that I was picked on. I was an outcast. Untouchable.

But I never stopped being who I was, never once caved to the demands of the bullies who picked on me telling me I had to be a man and I couldn't be a sissy. Taunts came and went and as the years went on, sadly they started to work on me as well. In 8th grade, Will C Wood Middle school I thought about committing suicide. And had it not been for the support of some of my close friends [STRAIGHT ALLIES] I probably would not be here writing you this letter.

I came out to myself and to everyone else 10th grade in High School and co-founded the first Gay Straight Alliance on my High School campus, all this while still haven't come out to my parents. My High School career ended by a strong leadership role in the Student Government and Technology House in the school and by being the first Openly gay "Wing Commander" for the Air Force Junior ROTC program. With full support from my advisor Chief Sanborn. Thank you Chief, I could not have done alot of things witout your support.

What I'm trying to say is that mo matter how hard it is now. I PROMISE, WE PROMISE! IT WILL GET BETTER!

Much Love, stay safe!

For those of you who feel like you dont have anyone, or if you need a hand. Check out The Trevor Project. Anytime DAY OR NIGHT! TRUST US IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER!

Our Queer Youth!

September is usually a time of great joy for me. TONS of birthdays, school is in session, the weather finally begins to cool down. But this year it wasn't as pleasant as I would have liked it to be.

This month, Truth Wins Out reports that there have been three teen suicides where the youth was bullied because of their sexual orientation.

This makes me so sad, I remember when I was in high school, coming out was NOT the easiest thing to do, especially in a school with a population of about 2,400 students and a record or high violence between students because of culture, socio-economic standards, gang related incidents, among other things, being gay was just something no one dared to even talk about.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the three teens and their families, Seth Walsh, 13, Tehachapi, CA. Asher Brown, 8th Grader, Houston TX. Tyler Clementi, 18, Rutgers University Student.

Suicide is never the right answer to any problem, but unfortunately these young lives were taken from us too soon and because of bullying and taunting these wonderful people thought they had no other alternative to help them escape the pain and suffering they were dealing with.

To everyone out there who has been teased, by bully's, "friends", teachers, even your parents for being who you are KNOW that there is ALWAYS someone out there who will be willing to lend you an ear if you need to talk, give you a hand if you need some help. Don't even be afraid of being WHO YOU ARE! People will always judge you, but you have to learn to be able to stay strong, not only for yourself, but to be able to teach these other people that you and they are very much alike.

The Trevor Project is an organization that has done tons and tons of good work with the LGBTQ Community dealing with issues like suicide prevention, to questioning your sexuality, to coming out! It's a great organization and I reccomend you check it out!

Challenge Day Org. is an AMAZING anti-bullying and violence prevention program that has received world wide acclaim, being featured on Oprah, and having it's own MTV Special, Challenge Day has come a very long way! This program teaches all it's participants, not just students, but teachers and school administrators alike, to sit down, listen, and feel. They teach you how to speak up, they teach you when to quite down, they teach you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. They teach you about the importance of a simple hug, and they teach you how to love yourself and how to love one another.

For those interested in learning more about Challenge Day, and about how to get it at your school please visit their website at www.challengeday.org for more information.

I encourage you all to always be available to your friends and family members, you never know someday they might need you to listen. And who knows maybe you can be a hero to someone and help them by allowing them the opportunity to live and grow alongside you.

To the world you may be just one person, but to one person, you may just be their world!

Much Love to ALL my people.

Until next time.

xoxo- Francisco

Crazy!!

I'm crazy but you like it!

MUAH!

xoxo